
The setting is an abandoned Earth colony: a rusted-out cyberpunk ghost town on the edge of a Martian terraforming zone. Neon signs flicker amid swirling red dust and cracked pavement. The skeletal remains of an alien invasion litter the streets — but whatever battle happened here before was just the prelude.
A long-dead comm signal reignites. Doomguy drops from orbit like a meteor, a green blur of rage in Praetor armor. His target? An anomaly flagged in the colony’s weapons vaults — something too cocky, too dangerous, and too damn loud to ignore.
Across the ruined skyline, Duke Nukem leans against a broken turret, casually chewing gum and admiring his own reflection in a bent steel panel. He saw the drop from orbit and didn’t flinch. “Finally,” he mutters, cocking his Devastator. “Somebody worth my time.”
There’s no war cry, no diplomacy. Just the hum of charged plasma, the clink of brass hitting concrete, and the sick realization that this colony isn’t big enough for both of them.
Vote: Duke Nukem Vs Doomguy
Stat | Duke Nukem | Doomguy |
---|---|---|
Intelligence | 🧠🧠🧠⚪⚪ | 🧠🧠🧠⚪⚪ |
Agility | 🤸🤸🤸⚪⚪ | 🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸 |
Strength | 💪💪💪💪⚪ | 💪💪💪💪💪 |
Weapons | 🔫🔫🔫🔫⚪ | 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫 |
Versatility | 🌀🌀🌀⚪⚪ | 🌀🌀🌀🌀⚪ |
Speed | ⚡⚡⚡⚪⚪ | ⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡ |
Combat Experience | 🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️⚪ | 🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️ |
Close-Quarters Combat | 🥊🥊🥊⚪⚪ | 🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊 |
Ranged Combat | 🏹🏹🏹🏹⚪ | 🔭🔭🔭🔭🔭 |
Durability | 🛠️🛠️🛠️⚪⚪ | 🛠️🛠️🛠️🛠️🛠️ |
Brutality Factor | 💥💥💥⚪⚪ | 💥💥💥💥💥 |
🔥 Duke Nukem
Strengths:
Insane arsenal of unconventional weapons (Shrink Ray, Freezethrower, Devastator)
High charisma and psychological warfare via taunts
Battle-hardened, fearless, and adaptive in chaotic environments
Can take on alien hordes solo and make it look fun
Uses explosives creatively in combat
Weaknesses:
Overconfidence can lead to recklessness
Limited close-combat skills compared to Doomguy
Relies heavily on gadgets and weapon pickups
Lacks true supernatural resilience
💀 Doomguy (Doom Slayer)
Strengths:
Superhuman strength, speed, and resilience
Master of both ranged and melee combat
Unrelenting fury — doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t stop
Praetor Suit enhances everything: tactics, defense, mobility
Combat experience spans literal dimensions and timelines
Weaknesses:
Lacks nuance or creative strategy — he charges
Silent and non-verbal, limiting psychological manipulation
Tunnel-visioned: can be baited if distracted
Not really a “team” thinker — solo or nothing
The Battle! 3…2…1.. FIGHT!!
The sky above twisted with fiery storm clouds, lightning splitting open crimson rifts that crackled and burned against a shattered cityscape. The buildings lay in ruin, concrete and steel skeletal remnants framing a battlefield scarred by relentless war. Fires raged, reflected menacingly in scattered puddles of oil and blood. Amidst the chaos, a portal swirled violently, tearing open a wound in the fabric of reality itself.
From the sizzling tear stepped Duke Nukem, his heavy boots crunching confidently over rubble. He glanced around through pitch-black sunglasses, casually chewing on his cigar, barely fazed by the apocalyptic panorama before him.
“Hmm,” Duke muttered, dusting ash from his red tank top. “Just another sunny day in hell.”
He holstered his trademark pistol, flexing enormous biceps that strained against sweat-stained gloves. From his combat harness, Duke produced his Devastator launcher, clicking a switch that extended barrels ready for chaos.
But as Duke took a cocky step forward, another figure crashed through a burning skyscraper wall, shattering concrete effortlessly, sending fragments flying in every direction. The figure stood tall, armored in sleek yet battle-scarred green Praetor armor—an incarnation of primal violence itself: Doomguy, the legendary Doom Slayer.
The Slayer’s visor flashed fiercely as he rose from his landing, the Crucible blade igniting in a blaze of roaring crimson, resonating a terrifying hum. Doomguy said nothing. His armor pulsed with rage, weaponry bristling, energy thrumming from a merciless heart that beat only for carnage.
Duke sized him up with a sneer.
“Well, well, looks like it’s ass-kicking time again,” Duke drawled confidently. “Only problem is, pal… you’re all outta time.”
Doomguy answered in silence, charging forward at blistering speed, an unstoppable juggernaut of death and destruction. Duke grinned, relishing the challenge.
“Let’s rock,” he laughed, unleashing a barrage of explosive missiles from the Devastator. Rockets screamed across the scorched earth, trailing smoke and fire, detonating against Doomguy in a hellish eruption of flame and shrapnel.
But from the explosion Doom Slayer emerged unscathed, Praetor armor glowing red-hot yet undamaged, launching forward with an air of ruthless determination. He hurled a frag grenade that detonated inches from Duke’s feet, throwing Nukem backward into a broken vehicle.
With a grunt, Duke regained footing, pulling out a cluster of pipe bombs. He hurled them toward the Slayer, who simply charged straight through, heedless of the blasts erupting around him, propelled purely by rage. Doomguy drew his Super Shotgun, Meat Hook flying forth, spearing through Duke’s leather harness and violently yanking him forward.
“Whoaaa, hold your horses, big guy,” Duke growled, slamming into Doomguy’s armored fist. The impact sent a shockwave across the street, shattering glass and concrete. Duke rolled away, coughing but amused. “Got some moves on ya, cupcake.”
He produced his Shrinker Ray, aiming swiftly at the Slayer, firing a pulse of energy. Doomguy, anticipating the threat, somersaulted away, dodging the beam as it reduced a nearby car to the size of a toaster. Duke grimaced.
“Dammit, stay still so I can step on ya!”
Doomguy surged forward, thrusting the Crucible blade toward Duke. Nukem countered desperately, grabbing a rusty street sign, blocking the fiery sword. The metal sign melted instantly, splattering molten steel around them.
The two warriors exchanged blows, Doomguy’s furious punches denting Duke’s armor plates, Duke delivering skull-rattling uppercuts that momentarily slowed the Slayer’s assault. Though battered and bloody, Duke smirked defiantly.
“C’mon, tough guy. You’re making me yawn here.”
Enraged, Doomguy drew his Plasma Rifle, showering Duke with rapid-fire blasts of searing energy. Duke dove behind cover as metal and debris melted away, narrowly avoiding disintegration. He returned fire with his Chaingun Cannon, barrels spinning wildly, spewing hot lead into the Slayer.
The Slayer’s Praetor armor absorbed rounds relentlessly, sparks flying, yet Doomguy strode forward undaunted. Duke cursed under his breath, recognizing the impossible durability of his foe. He knew he needed something bigger.
“Alright, party time’s over, jackass.”
Duke grabbed an RPG from his back, loaded with an overcharged payload, firing directly at Doomguy’s chest. The resulting blast blew Doomguy clear through a concrete wall, sending shrapnel and rubble raining down. Duke laughed triumphantly, cigar clenched in his teeth.
“And THAT’S how you barbecue an alien.”
A low rumble silenced Duke’s celebration. From the smoldering hole emerged Doomguy, his armor dented and cracked, but his eyes burning with merciless fury.
“Holy hell…you’re one tough bastard,” Duke admitted grudgingly, secretly impressed.
Doomguy advanced inexorably. Duke hurled his final desperate salvo: rockets, pipe bombs, devastators—all exploding uselessly against the Slayer’s relentless stride.
With savage speed, Doomguy seized Duke by the throat, hoisting him effortlessly into the air. Duke struggled fiercely, hands scrambling for a weapon.
“Alright, tough guy,” Duke choked defiantly. “If this is my ticket, you better make it one hell of a show!”
The Slayer tilted his helmet slowly, as if acknowledging the warrior spirit of his opponent, then hurled Duke brutally across the field. Duke crashed against twisted metal debris, bloodied but conscious, watching as Doomguy retrieved his Crucible, charging forward with unstoppable momentum.
Duke forced himself upright, wiping blood from his lip, grin resolute despite looming defeat.
“Alright ugly,” Duke growled, voice filled with respect beneath bravado. “If anyone’s gonna send me packing, I’m glad it’s the meanest son of a bitch I’ve ever seen.”
He aimed his pistol one last time, squeezing the trigger defiantly, a symbolic gesture more than a threat. Doomguy swept the bullet away dismissively with his blade, charging closer, Crucible blazing.
With a final triumphant arc, Doomguy brought the Crucible down, slicing through Duke’s armor effortlessly. Nukem fell to his knees, exhausted yet smiling grimly.
“Guess even legends… got expiration dates,” Duke rasped, coughing weakly. “Give ‘em hell, big guy.”
As Duke collapsed in defeat, Doomguy stood silently over him. Victory earned, battle won. The Slayer did not celebrate. Instead, he simply nodded once, recognizing the bravery and honor of a true warrior’s final stand.
Then Doomguy strode forward into the burning apocalypse, a relentless avatar of violence moving ever onward toward new battles, leaving Duke’s legend to fade heroically amidst flames.
obviously doom would win
Well if you played the previous 2 duke nukem games prior to 3D, you’d know he’s a Marine that went rogue. Hence the flat top. But still, I think doomguy would win.
I too think that Doomguy would have this in the bag, but I reckon running up behind Duke with the Chainsaw out would be a bit of a giveaway. The noise would be similar to the exploding headless guys in Serious Sam? In that particular scenario, as Duke I’d have known Doomguy might have a chainsaw, recognised the sound instantly, and fired a BFG shot into the wall right next to me since we all know you couldn’t hurt yourself with the BFG in original Doom!!
I’d have gone with staying quiet and sneaking up behind, pulling the trigger just as I poked the shotgun into the back of Duke’s head. Even though you didn’t specify which shotgun, Duke’s lack of a helmet should mean lights out either way.
Perhaps you were imagining modern Doom’s chainsaw, where you just hit the chainsaw button within melee range and the guy is already dead, even before the actual chainsaw animation starts playing? Not to be pedantic or anything…