Video game satire and silly posts that I have created. Not quite the onion but all of these are just jokes. You have been warned in advance that nothing here is real or to be taken seriously.
If you are offended by things very easily, it might be best to avoid this section and maybe this entire site completely.
Elden Ring is an action RPG developed by FromSoftware and published by Bandai Namco Entertainment, released in February 2022. Directed by Hidetaka Miyazaki, with world-building contributions from novelist George R. R. Martin, the game features an expansive open world called the Lands Between. Players assume the role of a customisable character known as the Tarnished, who must explore this world, battle formidable enemies, and seek to restore the Elden Ring…
Bethesda Game Studios welcome you to the world of Fallout 4, their most ambitious game ever, and the next generation of open-world gaming. As the sole survivor of Vault 111, you enter a world destroyed by nuclear war. Every second is a fight for survival, and every choice is yours. Only you can rebuild and determine the fate of the Wasteland. Welcome home.
Step into the vibrant, ever-evolving world of Red Dead Online and experience life in frontier America. Chase down bounties, battle outlaw gangs and other players, hunt, fish and trade, search for exotic treasures, run Moonshine, and much more to discover in a world of astounding depth and detail.
Are you ready to give up who you once thought you were and walk the path of shadows? Elevate your Assassin's Creed Mirage experience with the Master Assassin Edition, which includes the base game, the Deluxe Pack, and five other packs.
[Silicon Valley, CA] - In a shocking bombshell to gamers everywhere, it was unveiled today that the highly-anticipated backstory of the latest multiplayer shooter is, in fact, nothing more than a brief tip hollowly scattered across various loading screens. This...
In what can only be described as a groundbreaking discovery in the fields of self-delusion and predictable outcomes, local Elden Ring player Greg Henderson declared his intention to create a completely unique build. However, he has remarkably found himself right...
Virtual Identity Crisis Hits Hard In an event that blurs the line between dedication and digital imprisonment, local gamer Jake Patterson found himself yet again ensnared in the infinite possibilities of a character creation screen. Tragically, this marathon customization session...
In a display of unparalleled endurance and an apparent lack of spatial understanding, Wasteland wanderer and devoted loot enthusiast, Jake Aspinwall, has reportedly amassed a truly mind-boggling 7,000 pounds of miscellaneous junk while promising, yet again, to stop after "just...
In what experts in video game anthropology are calling a testament to human perseverance—and extreme hoarding—a local Fallout 4 player has managed to accumulate an impressive 7,000 pounds of junk, all while swearing to their followers that they were just...
A Startling Announcement Framed as a Triumph for Fan Engagement In an unprecedented move, game studio Thick-Skull Productions proudly announced the launch of a brand new battle royale mode for their latest role-playing game, Quest for the Imagination Slug, much...
In yet another comical series of misunderstandings in the vast world of Red Dead Online, our hapless cowboy protagonist, known only by the moniker BigIron47, found himself riding into the sun-streaked town of Valentine with the singular, friendly objective of...
The world of Assassin's Creed is one fraught with perils, pitfalls, and enough hidden blades to make a FOMO-ridden millennial question their own blade-less existence. For players seeking the thrill of occupation as a digital assassin, nothing is more exhilarating...
Jerktown, USA - In a stunning display of self-control so intense it borders on existential dread, local resident Ben "Backlog" Bibbington has proudly declared he will not succumb to the alluring temptation of shiny new video games until he completes...
In a stunning display of gratitude that left absolutely no one surprised, local merchant and non-playable character, Old Man Grumple, profusely thanked an adventurer for single-handedly saving the town of Everindale from a bloodthirsty horde of marauding bandits. Despite his...
