Video Game Satire

Video game satire and silly posts that I have created. Not quite the onion but all of these are just jokes. You have been warned in advance that nothing here is real or to be taken seriously.

If you are offended by things very easily, it might be best to avoid this section and maybe this entire site completely.


RECENT GAMES

Call of Duty Box Art

Call of Duty

The player has two primary weapon slots, a handgun slot and can carry up to eight grenades (all of the later Call of Duty games feature only two weapon slots; a sidearm will fill one of these slots). Weapons may be exchanged with those found on the battlefield dropped by dead soldiers.
Call of Duty: Black Ops III Box Art

Call of Duty: Black Ops III

We have all come victim of this at some stage in our lives and can all relate to the frustration. Well this week shocking figures have been released that show the true dangers that vacuuming mothers pose to gamers. Figures are now in that show the true extent of the damages. The report from a respected university shows that over 5000 game characters are killed every year due to mothers…
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Box Art

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

For a franchise that came from humble beginnings and ended up saving Bethesda from bankruptcy, the Elder Scrolls franchise has a long and interesting history. Due to the time span between releases, the games in the franchise differ from each other quite a lot but still manage to have that element of something special. A large open world game where you can do random quests and stuff outside of the…

JERKBURGLARS POSTS

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New York City Residents Blindsided by Yet Another Prison Transfer Gone Wrong

Jerkburglars
In the lively streets of New York City, Spider-Man is kept ever busy, thanks to a peculiar trend: villains escaping during prison transfers! It’s as if the city bigwigs have yet to realize the golden rule: keep the baddies locked...
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How To Be A Perfect Console Fanboy

Jerkburglars
When it comes to playing games on consoles, it is incredibly important to decide which platform is best for you. Every console has its pros and cons and depending on the player, one may be more suitable than others. Once...
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Final Fantasy VII Coming To Skyrim

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Today there is some exciting news coming out of the Skyrim modding community. An enthusiastic new modding team has come on the scene under the name Team DragonNinjaFury. They are currently taking the community by storm with the announcement of...
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Elite Playstation Controller with No Headphone Jack Announced

Jerkburglars
Sony have been under a lot of pressure over the past few years to release an elite Playstation controller similar to what is offered for the Xbox One. For those wanting a better experience with the controller and others who...
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Konami Moves HQ To Pyongyang In North Korea

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Over the past year the ins and outs of how Konami run their business has been subject of a lot of public scrutiny. After the dramatic departure of Hideo Kojima from the team and the later fact that Kojima un-invited Konami...
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Vacuuming Mothers Responsible For Over 5000 Game Related Deaths Each Year

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We have all come victim of this at some stage in our lives and can all relate to the frustration. Well this week shocking figures have been released that show the true dangers that vacuuming mothers pose to gamers. Figures...
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North Korea Set To Release A Video Game Console

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The highly secretive nation of North Korea has spent many years flaunting their military assets. As the years have passed they must have finally realised that they will never be able to conquer the west using brute military force because...
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Activision Renews Illuminati Membership

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This weekend, Activision have renewed their long term membership with the secret society. Activision have been an active, long-standing member of the dark and secret group, who have helped Activision to pull all the strings needed to destroy many game...
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Kojima Un-invites Konami From His Birthday Party

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Hideo Kojima has enjoyed a very long partnership with with Japanese game publisher Konami, but after months of tension the legendary game developer has announced his departure from the Konami. Over the past few days it seems that the partnership...
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Call of Duty Gamer Lost In Battlefield 4 Map

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The gaming world has been a flipped upside down as the hunt for missing gamer Graham Brown has gone into a 4th day without being able to successfully make contact with the lost gamer. Graham decided to quit playing Call...