Local dad Mark Benson, who insists he does not really play video games, has won every race of a family Mario Kart session while asking which button makes the car go. Benson, 46, agreed to join his children for “one quick go” after being handed a controller. He then selected a character without hesitation, adjusted his vehicle parts and asked whether they wanted to play on a higher speed. “I might have played one of these years ago,” he said, before taking the first corner sideways and leaving it with a boost.
His son Jake initially attributed the result to luck. This became harder to maintain when Benson won the next race, the race after that and a course Jake had selected specifically because his father would not know it. “He said he was just following the road,” Jake reported. “There wasn’t a road where he went.”
Throughout the session, Benson remained apologetic about his supposed inexperience. He asked what the coins were for while collecting them, said he had no idea what he was doing while lining up a shortcut and expressed concern that he might be slowing everyone down. He was waiting at the finish.
His daughter Ellie said the worst part was the lack of visible effort. While the children leaned forward over their controllers, Benson sat back in his usual chair and occasionally asked whether anyone wanted the last biscuit. “I watched a whole video about getting better at this,” she said. “He asked if the television volume was all right.”
Benson denies having practised, although his wife confirmed that his definition of not playing games excludes “a little go while the kettle’s on.” She declined to estimate how often the kettle is on.
The children have since proposed a different game, hoping to find something their father genuinely has not played. Benson said that sounded lovely and asked them to remind him of the controls. He had already picked his character.
