RPG Merchant Sells First Sword in a Decade
A fantasy shopkeeper celebrates an unexpected sale after years of buying adventurers’ unwanted loot.
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Local Parents Blame GTA for Son’s Refusal to Have a Bath
A local couple have identified the unlikely cause of their son’s refusal to have a bath: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.
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“Deep Lore” in Multiplayer Shooter Revealed to Be Just Three Sentences on a Loading Screen
The entire backstory of a multiplayer shooter whose fans have spent months reconstructing its ancient history has been confirmed to consist of three sentences on a loading screen. “The Great…
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Gamer Gets Stuck in Character Creator for So Long, Refund Timer Expires
Local gamer Jake Patterson has discovered he is no longer eligible for a refund on a fantasy RPG he insists he has not started playing, having spent the entire session…
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Fallout 4 Player ‘Just Looting One More House’ Now Carrying 7,000 Pounds of Junk
Fallout 4 scavenger Jake Aspinwall has confirmed that he is nearly finished looting a house, despite carrying seven thousand pounds of household junk and being unable to turn around without…
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Fallout 4 Player Collects Everything Needed to Rebuild Civilisation Except Food, Water or Beds
Fallout 4 player Ashley McCaffrey has announced that her settlement is approaching self-sufficiency, having secured enough desk fans, clipboards and battered coffee pots to support several generations of people with…
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‘We Listened to Fans,’ Says Developer While Releasing Exact Opposite of What Fans Wanted
A game developer has thanked players for helping shape its latest update, which adds a battle royale mode to the single-player RPG they had asked it to fix. Speaking during…
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Local Man Refuses to Start New Game Until He ‘Finishes His Backlog’ – Hasn’t Played Anything in Three Years
Local man Ben Bibbington has confirmed he will not start another video game until he finishes his backlog, a sensible purchasing rule that has prevented him from playing anything for…
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NPC Thanks Player for Saving Village, Still Charges Full Price at Shop
A village merchant has told the adventurer who saved his family, home and entire business that he can never repay the debt, before requesting forty gold for a healing potion.…
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Hardcore Player Starts RPG on Hard Mode, Quietly Switches to Easy After First Boss Fight
Self-described hardcore player Nathan Steel has quietly lowered the difficulty of his new RPG after discovering that the first boss expects him to learn something. Steel had announced his Hard…
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