Atheist Refuses to Acknowledge Kratos As The God Of War

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Local atheist Daryl Roberts has declined to recognise Kratos as the God of War, describing the towering Spartan’s divine credentials as “a promising start, but not conclusive.” Roberts made the assessment while standing in the ruins of a Greek temple, where Kratos had just demonstrated several abilities Roberts agreed would be difficult to explain at the gym.

“I’m not denying that he’s strong,” he said. “I’m questioning the leap from strong to god. There are people at my leisure centre who lift things I can’t.” Kratos offered little response beyond an increasingly long stare.

Roberts asked whether the title had been awarded by an independent body. When told about Ares, he requested someone still available to provide a reference. “That isn’t me moving the goalposts,” he explained. “It’s just unfortunate how often his supporting evidence involves someone who can’t attend.”

A nearby marble pillar then collapsed after Kratos gripped it. Roberts conceded that the incident deserved further investigation, but noted that the building was old and might not have met modern standards.

He also questioned whether the dramatic lighting, supernatural weapons and general destruction might be creating an atmosphere in which observers felt pressured to accept the claim. “We should be able to have this discussion calmly,” he said, raising his voice over falling masonry.

Kratos eventually asked what evidence would satisfy him. Roberts said he would need time to develop a rigorous set of criteria, preferably somewhere with an intact roof. He has since described his departure from the temple as a successful defence of his position. Witnesses described it as running.

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