A multiplayer matchmaking system has confirmed that it is producing perfectly balanced teams by assigning every competent player enough liabilities to cancel them out. The algorithm, known as Equalizer, calculates a team’s combined ability rather than asking whether any of its members can operate a door.
“If you win a match convincingly, we know you’re ready for more responsibility,” Equalizer’s lead developer explained. “Perhaps three people who have never played the objective and someone testing whether their microphone works.”
Player John Miller first noticed the system’s precision after a strong performance earned him a squad containing a sniper facing the wrong direction, a teammate defending an empty room and a player who had left to answer the front door. “I thought the last one had disconnected,” he said. “Then I heard him signing for a parcel.”
Miller spent the opening minutes capturing the objective, defending it and explaining which team everyone was on. Equalizer assessed the match as competitive because the total numbers looked close before anyone moved. When Miller asked for support, one teammate helpfully marked an enemy Miller was already fighting. Another announced that they did not normally use this weapon, shortly before confirming they did not normally play this game. The sniper remained confident that someone would eventually enter his room.
Developers said the system was particularly effective at identifying players who could carry a team and then finding out exactly how much team they could carry. “We’re not punishing good performances,” the spokesperson said. “We’re making sure they don’t happen twice.”
Miller has considered joining friends to avoid the problem, but most have already logged off after being assigned similar opportunities for personal growth. He eventually lost the match despite recording his best individual score of the evening. His teammates thanked him for the close game and suggested he should have pushed the objective more.
Equalizer has reviewed the result and concluded that Miller needs better teammates. It has placed him against them.
