Local Parents Blame GTA for Son’s Refusal to Have a Bath
A local couple have identified the unlikely cause of their son’s refusal to have a bath: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.
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Elden Ring Player Insists on Using Unique Build, Still Ends Up as a Strength-Faith Bonk Lord
Elden Ring player Greg Henderson has confirmed that his experimental poison-bow assassin is developing exactly as intended, despite now wearing heavy armour and carrying a hammer roughly the size of…
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Red Dead Online Player Tries to Greet NPC, Ends Up Wanted for Murder
Red Dead Online player BigIron47 has become wanted for murder in Valentine after attempting to establish himself as the sort of cowboy who says hello to people. The player had…
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Assassin’s Creed Player Attempts Stealth, Instantly Gets Spotted
Assassin’s Creed player Ralph has been spotted attempting to infiltrate an enemy compound, bringing an end to forty minutes of reconnaissance and approximately two seconds of stealth. Ralph had spent…
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GTA Online Player Spends Two Hours Customizing Car, Loses It in 30 Seconds
GTA Online player Harold Williams has spent two hours customising a car that survived thirty seconds outside Los Santos Customs, eighteen of which were spent finding a good angle for…
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How To Be A Perfect Console Fanboy
Buying a console gives you access to games. Becoming a console fanboy gives you a second, much more demanding hobby: explaining why every decision made by its manufacturer was correct.…
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Activision Renews Illuminati Membership
Activision has renewed its Illuminati membership after discovering that the secret society now offers automatic billing. In a candlelit chamber beneath an unremarkable business park, a delegation submitted the required…
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Call of Duty Gamer Lost In Battlefield 4 Map
A search is under way for Call of Duty player Graham Brown, who entered a Battlefield 4 map four days ago and has not yet located the match. Brown had…
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Bank Repossesses PlayStation Home
The bank has repossessed PlayStation Home after discovering that an unlimited supply of virtual sofas does not count as collateral. Officials arrived at the social world’s central square carrying clipboards…
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Call Of Duty DLC To Contain Day 1 DLC
A Call of Duty sales representative has announced downloadable content for downloadable content, describing the additional purchase as a way to make an expansion feel complete without including everything in…
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