Do you dream of becoming a YouTube sensation with millions of followers hanging on your every word? Well, you’re in luck! Today, we’re going to share the secret recipe for YouTube success, featuring all the annoying tactics that have made countless YouTubers famous (or infamous). Buckle up and get ready to take notes!
1. Like and Subscribe: The Mantra of Success
Begin and end every video with a passionate plea for viewers to like, comment, and subscribe. Make sure to remind them at least three times per video because, let’s face it, your viewers are goldfish and will forget if you don’t.
2. Master the Art of Voice Gymnastics
Channel your inner opera singer and excessively alternate the pitch of your voice. Highs, lows, unexpected squeals – the more jarring, the better! Your viewers will love the emotional roller coaster.
3. Get Excited Over Everything
Did you just find a penny on the ground? Scream like you won the lottery! The key is to treat every insignificant event like it’s the most thrilling thing that’s ever happened to you.
4. “WHAT IS UP, GUYS?!”
Every successful YouTube video starts with a boisterous “WHAT IS UP, GUYS?” It’s the universal greeting that lets your viewers know you’re cool and hip. Bonus points if you can make it sound like you’re yelling through a megaphone.
5. Punctuate Your Sentences with Flair
Add random punctuation marks to your sentences for no reason! It makes your video titles and descriptions look more exciting, and who doesn’t love a good exclamation mark or two (or ten)?!!
6. “Best. Game. Ever.”
Treat every game you play like it’s the best thing since sliced bread. Your viewers will appreciate your unwavering enthusiasm and definitely won’t get tired of your constant hyperbole.
7. Copycat Your Way to the Top
Why bother coming up with original content when you can just copy what everyone else is doing? Jump on every trend and ride those coattails to YouTube fame.
8. Wikipedia: Your New Best Friend
Take something interesting from Wikipedia, slap your face on it, and turn it into a video. Congratulations, you’re now an expert on a random topic!
9. Channeling Your Inner Corporation
Pretend your channel is a massive corporation, even if it’s just you and your cat. Use “us” and “we” to refer to your channel, because nothing says “legitimate” like pretending you have a team of minions working behind the scenes.
10. “Like, Follow, and Subscribe” (Again)
Did we mention you should remind your viewers to like, follow, and subscribe? Just in case you forgot, do it again. And again. And again.
11. Show Off Your Impeccable Music Taste
Add some background music to your videos to let everyone know you have the best taste in tunes. Make sure it’s loud enough to drown out your voice at times, because who doesn’t love a good audio challenge?
12. Speed Talking: The Ultimate Intro
Begin every video by talking so fast that you trip over your words. It’s endearing, and your viewers will definitely appreciate the time you saved them by cramming a 30-second intro into 10 seconds.
So there you have it, folks! Follow these 12 foolproof steps, and you’ll be well on your way to YouTube stardom. Remember, the key to success is to be as irritating as possible. Good luck!
