Tag: Imperium of Man

Is The Emperor Any Use To The Imperium While In The Golden Throne?

November 10, 2024Dan0 comments

In his physical state, the Emperor of Mankind was incredibly valuable to humanity, as he was the single most powerful figure in the galaxy. His value can be broken down…

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Gaming Satire

Jerkburglars

Local Parents Blame GTA for Son’s Refusal to Have a Bath

November 3, 2026Dan0 comments

A local couple have identified the unlikely cause of their son’s refusal to have a bath: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.

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Jerkburglars

“Deep Lore” in Multiplayer Shooter Revealed to Be Just Three Sentences on a Loading Screen

May 14, 2025Nerd Guest1 comment

The entire backstory of a multiplayer shooter whose fans have spent months reconstructing its ancient history has been confirmed to consist of three sentences on a loading screen. “The Great…

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Jerkburglars

Elden Ring Player Insists on Using Unique Build, Still Ends Up as a Strength-Faith Bonk Lord

April 30, 2025Adam West0 comments

Elden Ring player Greg Henderson has confirmed that his experimental poison-bow assassin is developing exactly as intended, despite now wearing heavy armour and carrying a hammer roughly the size of…

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Jerkburglars

Gamer Gets Stuck in Character Creator for So Long, Refund Timer Expires

April 23, 2025Adam West1 comment

Local gamer Jake Patterson has discovered he is no longer eligible for a refund on a fantasy RPG he insists he has not started playing, having spent the entire session…

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