Postal 2 Achievement List

R. Kelly's Protege R. Kelly’s Protege
Pissed in someone’s face until they puked from it.
Duck Dynasty Duck Dynasty
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Here, Wilfred Here, Wilfred
Gained your first dog helper.
Chapelle's Show Chapelle’s Show
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Taxidermy with Chuck Testa Taxidermy with Chuck Testa
Used a cat to “accessorize” your gun.
Michonne ain't got nothin' on me Michonne ain’t got nothin’ on me
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
C U Next Tuesday C U Next Tuesday
Survived Tuesday.
Workin' for the Weekend Workin’ for the Weekend
Survived Friday.
Screw Bill Lumbergh! Screw Bill Lumbergh!
Survived Saturday.
I swear, I thought it was a home fill I swear, I thought it was a home fill
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Cesar Millan is Gay Cesar Millan is Gay
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale OMG, WE’RE HAVING A FIRE…sale
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Hello, Newman Hello, Newman
Kicked 30 dogs.
Darth Maul'd! Darth Maul’d!
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Reddit would be proud. Reddit would be proud.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Pussy on a Pedestal Pussy on a Pedestal
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Uncle T-Bag Uncle T-Bag
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Do you even Enzyte, bro? Do you even Enzyte, bro?
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Running With Scissors Running With Scissors
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This! Hutton Gibson Can’t Deny This!
Killed over 1,000 people.
And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree And THAT’S why you never get out of the tree
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Lieberman is our Leader! Lieberman is our Leader!
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Sheriff Arpaio would be proud. Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Can't Touch This Can’t Touch This
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Fear and Loathing Fear and Loathing
Smoked over 10 “health” pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Señor Cornballer Señor Cornballer
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer’s uniform.
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM! GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Rick Grimes 4 Life Rick Grimes 4 Life
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Anustart! Anustart!
Completed the “POSTAL 2” game mode with no kills.
40 Year Old Virgin 40 Year Old Virgin
Completed the “POSTAL 2” game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
CAN YOU DIG IT?! CAN YOU DIG IT?!
Completed the “POSTAL 2” game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Planet of the Apes: The Musical Planet of the Apes: The Musical
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Scientology Level: OT VIII Scientology Level: OT VIII
Completed the “A Week In Paradise” game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Fur Sure! Fur Sure!
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog It’s not cheating, because it’s YOUR dog
Played “fetch” with your dog… using a severed human head.
Where's Mr. McGibblets? Where’s Mr. McGibblets?
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Finkle IS Einhorn! Finkle IS Einhorn!
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Anger Management With Roger Clemens Anger Management With Roger Clemens
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Shiva Blast Shiva Blast
“Lost” your sledgehammer to a cow.
Don't taze me, bro! Don’t taze me, bro!
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer’s uniform.
I Am Legend I Am Legend
Committed suicide… the Taliban way.
I should buy a boat I should buy a boat
Read the newspaper every day.
Friend of Dorothy Friend of Dorothy
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Officer McLovin' Officer McLovin’
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Paid the Piper Paid the Piper
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Well, aren't YOU a badass Well, aren’t YOU a badass
Kicked open a door.
I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you I don’t know whether to kiss you or kill you
Put out someone that’s on fire.
It's sterile and I like the taste It’s sterile and I like the taste
Sucked down your own piss.
It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway It’s OK, we got Greenlit anyway
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
FAB-U-LOUS! FAB-U-LOUS!
Wore all three outfits.
I don't need virgins for this I don’t need virgins for this
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
A-Rod Who? A-Rod Who?
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Door Mat Door Mat
Severed all of somebody’s limbs without killing them.
Chuck Norris'd! Chuck Norris’d!
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
One time, at band camp... One time, at band camp…
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Hidden Achievement
There's always money in the banana stand There’s always money in the banana stand
Hidden achievement descriptions are missing by default. Why is it missing?
Hidden Achievement
SCREW that game! SCREW that game!
Hidden achievement descriptions are missing by default. Why is it missing?
Hidden Achievement
Found 'em faster than GWB Found ’em faster than GWB
Hidden achievement descriptions are missing by default. Why is it missing?
Hidden Achievement
Gotta pay the Troll Toll Gotta pay the Troll Toll
Hidden achievement descriptions are missing by default. Why is it missing?
Hidden Achievement
John Rambo'd! John Rambo’d!
Hidden achievement descriptions are missing by default. Why is it missing?
Hidden Achievement
Gary vs. a Giant Penis Gary vs. a Giant Penis
Hidden achievement descriptions are missing by default. Why is it missing?
Hidden Achievement
You are not alone You are not alone
Hidden achievement descriptions are missing by default. Why is it missing?
Thanks for the money! Thanks for the money!
Finished all seven days.
GABAGOOOOOL! GABAGOOOOOL!
Reunited with an old friend.
Holocaust: Part Deux Holocaust: Part Deux
Reunited with an old enemy.
Rain on your Wedding Day Rain on your Wedding Day
Reunited with an old flame.
Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad Watchu’ Talkin’ ‘Bout Muhammad
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Better than POSTAL III Better than POSTAL III
Rescued your loyal companion.
My Name is Jesus My Name is Jesus
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Harder than r/gonewild Harder than r/gonewild
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Adderall4All Adderall4All
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Hidden Achievement
Ape Rape Ape Rape
Hidden achievement descriptions are missing by default. Why is it missing?
Hidden Achievement
Dick Message Dick Message
Hidden achievement descriptions are missing by default. Why is it missing?
Hidden Achievement
PooMasher PooMasher
Hidden achievement descriptions are missing by default. Why is it missing?
Hidden Achievement
Hobo Sexual Hobo Sexual
Hidden achievement descriptions are missing by default. Why is it missing?
Hidden Achievement
Ginger Mint Ginger Mint
Hidden achievement descriptions are missing by default. Why is it missing?
Hidden Achievement
Ode to Eddings Ode to Eddings
Hidden achievement descriptions are missing by default. Why is it missing?
Hidden Achievement
Bitches Love Cake Bitches Love Cake
Hidden achievement descriptions are missing by default. Why is it missing?
Rich on Reddit Rich on Reddit
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
BioShocked BioShocked
Spent $5,000 on vending machines.
Reddit's Famous Double Dong Reddit’s Famous Double Dong
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
You Snow Nothing John Blow You Snow Nothing John Blow
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
RAFIBOMB!!! RAFIBOMB!!!
Kicked 30 people in the balls.
Hidden Achievement
I'm not even supposed to be here today! I’m not even supposed to be here today!
Hidden achievement descriptions are missing by default. Why is it missing?