Goat Simulator Achievement Guide

  • Author : Pink Monkey
  • Time To Complete : 25 Hours
  • Difficulty : 7
  • Online : 0/127
  • Offline : 127/127
  • Missable : N/A
  • Glitched : N/A
  • Num Playthroughs : N/A
Achievement Guide
Boulder of Death Boulder of Death
Hit the party with the Boulder of Death.

Location: Goatville

There is a huge boulder near the water slides, push the boulder over to where the party is and watch as the filthy humans die.

Pedestrian Pedestrian
Find the Sanctum 1 Walker Statue

See “Trying to bring forth Sanctum 3” for more information.

LOEK master LOEK master
Find the Sanctum 2 Walker Statue

See “Trying to bring forth Sanctum 3” for more information.

FINALLY FINALLY
Become the master of the goat tower.

Location Goatville

The goat tower is found in the back garden of a house in goatville. 

Goat of the hill Goat of the hill
Everything the light touches is your kingdom.

Location: Goatville

You need to get to the highest point in the map, which happens to be the crane. Use the nearby trampoline and Angel Goat mutator to get to the top.

What is its purpose? What is its purpose?
Thrash the Goathenge

Location: Goatville

The location of the Stonehenge is north of the spawn, just knockout all the rocks.

Devil Goat Devil Goat
We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.

Location: Goatville

You will have to go to the sacrifice area and sacrifice 5 ragdolls in there. Using the devil goat mutator and then spawning goats until the ritual starts is the fastest method.

Angel Goat Angel Goat
Do no evil.

You are supposed to not hurt anyone for about 5 minutes. Simply stand still doing nothing until it pops up.

Around the World on 5 Trampolines Around the World on 5 Trampolines
Visit 5 trampolines in one jump, bouncing on each trampoline once.

Location: Goatville

Use all of the 5 trampolines in one jump. There is plenty of ways to do this but always make sure to use ragdoll mode as it gives you higher reach and control.

Trying to bring forth Sanctum 3? Trying to bring forth Sanctum 3?
Sacrifice the 3 Sanctum items.

Location: Goatville

List of the 3 Sanctum items and their locations:

  1. In the house behind the spawn area, in the bedroom in the second floor.
  2. In the tree house next to the spawn, use the trampoline to get to it.
  3. The robot is in the blue cargo hanging by the crane, use the trampoline to reach it (changing to ragdoll mode allows for higher jumps). The robot will attack you if you get inside the cargo, but if you attack it the robot will fly so far and you won’t be able to find him. The best way is to land on top of the cargo and then try to get in and lick him before he attacks you.

After you find all of them you need to move them to the sacrifice circle.

Involuntary QA Involuntary QA
Ooops, the game seems to have crashed.
The Flapmaster The Flapmaster
Score 10 points in Flappy Goat.

Location: Goatville

This achievement is horrible! In the Coffee Stain Studios building second floor is TV with the game, you will need a score of 10 to get the achievement.

Tips:

  • Download this mod from the workshop. It gives you a fullscreen game of Flappy Goat, making it easier.
  • The goat hitbox is bigger than it seems, you will have to adapt.
  • Try to fall in between the ladders (e.g. start off higher than needed and fall into the gap).
  • Don’t smash your keyboard or monitor.
I can't believe that worked I can’t believe that worked
Do 10 front flips in one trick.

Location: Goatville

Go to the low gravity building and do 10 flips and then make sure to land on your feet.

Cardio kills your gains Cardio kills your gains
Drag a person into the treadmill with your tongue.

Location: Goatville

The treadmill is located in the garage of the house behind the spawn. Lick someone and put him/her on the treadmill.

Rymdskepp i Rymden Rymdskepp i Rymden
Travel to space!

Location: Goatville

There is a bacon in the garage behind the spawn, pick it up and go to the crops field. In the crops field is 2 circles with a small pole on each, put the bacon you have on the empty pole.

Try Hard Try Hard
Find all the trophies in Goat Ville!

The first collectibles achievement. In Goat Ville is 30 gold goat trophies that you need to collect to get this achievement.

1. On the very top of the crane. To get up, equip the jetpack and go to the edge where the NPC is sitting. Turn around and jump up, then tap R to thrust just enough to clear the top of the crane. Walk across the top and right up the cable.
2. On the power lines near the road. There is a shed on the side of the road with fans on top that will take you to it. Hit the fan and land on the lowest power line.
3. On top of the shed used to get to the power lines.
4. Behind the shed across from the school. Follow the building around the side facing the road.
5. Under the bell on top of the school. You will need to go ragdoll to slide under the bell.
6. On the edge of the size changing pit.
7. Behind the Boulder of Doom.
8. Up against the fence behind the Goat Fightclub.
9. Buried in the bushes underneath the water slide.
10. On top of the scaffolding over the control room in the Low Gravity building. Jump into the fan room and use a burst from the jet pack to land on top of the office. The collectible is in the far corner, on the highest beam.
11. On top of the Low Gravity building, under one of the spinning arms.
12. Using the fan in the Low Gravity room, go up into the vent that shoots out from the roof.
13. To the right of the harvester, next to a small sedan.
14. Under the power tower next to the Goatagram.
15. On the scaffolding platform on the roof of the construction site building.
16. Behind the goat in the top of the tower near the spawn.
17. Under the tree in the middle of the fields.
18. To the right of the outhouse (another word for outside Toilet) near the corp fields.
19. Inside Coffee Stain Studios, ontop of an upstairs desk.
20. On the Coffee Stain Studios chimney.
21. On top of the diving boards.
22. In the blue shipping container hanging from the crane. To get on top of the container, use the fans on the lower roof of the construction site building, where the NPC is sitting on the edge. You may have to bounce multiple times to get enough height. When you drop into the container, immediately headbutt the G2 robot guarding the collectible to avoid getting shoved out.
23. In a blue shipping container on the ground level of the construction site, near the road.
24. Behind the Protesters’ stage.
25. In the gas station.
26. In the bedroom of the house next to the spawn point, tucked in a corner in the room to the right from the stairs.
27. In the greenhouse next to the Time Trial starting point, not near the spawn point.
28. On a limb on one of the two trees between the party and the empty pool.
29. On a box on the Left-hand side of the throne room inside the Goat Castle.
30. On the very top of the Powerline Pole closest to the Goat Castle. (Use the vents and hit Ragdoll, lading ontop of the goat at the top in ragdoll.)

Alexander Goatstafsson Alexander Goatstafsson
Win the title bout!

Location: Goatville

You will find in the crops fields a ring with people all over it and goat in the middle. Take out the goat and all the other goats that spawn.

Goat Queen Goat Queen
Become the Queen of Goat Ville

Location Goatville

Enter the goat tower and keep moving until you reach the throne.

Mattress Madness Mattress Madness
Bounce 100 times on mattresses within 30 seconds.

Location: Goatville

In the 5th floor of the construction site is ton of mattresses in the floor and the ceiling, jump over and wait until the achievement pops. Just make sure to not get thrown away from the mattresses.

Mile High Club Mile High Club
Lick the Hanging Glider.

Location: Goatville

Get on top of the crane and wait for the glider to get close enough for you to reach it. As soon as the glider gets close jump over and lick it.

Dodge This Dodge This
Make sure the Hillbilly never drives again.

Location: Goatville

Use the same boulder that you used in the previous achievement to destroy the hillbilly racer.

Flip-Kick Flip-Kick
Kick something in the air while doing a backflip

Location: Goat City Bay

This one is really simple, you just have to do a backflip near something (or something) and then hit it/him/her while mid backfliping.

Maximum MLG Big Plays Maximum MLG Big Plays
Knock a bucket into a person

Location: Goat City Bay

Find a bucket and headbutt it at someone. There is couple of them right as you spawn in Goat Ville.

Powerhoof SMASH Powerhoof SMASH
Kick a person into a car

Location: Goatville

Go to the gas station and kick the guy next to the car getting refueled. To kick you need to be pressing the S button and then left click.

Demogoat Demogoat
Have 10 gas cannisters explode at the same time

Location: Goat City Bay

On top of the dam is clusters of gas cannisters, find a cluster of 10 gas cannisters and headbutt of of the cannisters.

Here's Johnny! Here’s Johnny!
Wield an axe with your tongue

Location: Goat City Bay

You just need to lick an axe, you will get this one naturally while playing the game.

The mage's favourite The mage’s favourite
Burn people from afar

Location: Goat City Bay

There is a beach next to the roller coaster, hit someone at the grill and they will get burned.

Stand by for Goatfall Stand by for Goatfall
Finish all wallrun quest

Location: Goat City Bay

This can be easily done with the double jump goat bug. For every time you respawn you gain an additional jump, so keep respawn for about 20 times. Now run over a wall for a short amount of time and then keep jumping until you are out of jumps. Wallrunning also counts the time while you are in mid air so the time you were jumping also counts toward the quest.

Tony Goat Tony Goat
Finish all manual quests

Location: Goat City Bay

You can do this easily by finding an empty place. Once you manage to reach 1000 points jump to stop and register the points, repeat until yo get all of the 3 quests.

The Savage The Savage
Paint with all the colors of the wind

Location: Goat City Bay

There is 3 wind turbines on the right side of the map, at the top of the middle one is a wind statue. Carry it and bring it to the wind altar, which is somewhere behind the skatepark.

Goats 'n' Stuff Goats ‘n’ Stuff
Hold your own concert

Location: Goat City Bay

There is a hotel near the ocean called Put-in Hotel, get inside the elevator and wait until it takes you to the roof. there is a concert being held by Deadmau5. Headbutt him and you will get his head, hit R to party.

Disgusting Disgusting
Why did you step in that? Yuck

Location: Goat City Bay

Near the carnival is a sewer, enter them and you will get the repulsive power which also gives this achievement.

Location: Goat City Bay

Go to roof in the Put-in Hotel, jump down to the second level (Facing the ocean). There is a towel with 42 written on it, pick it up. Now go to the dam and keep going up until you reach the UFO and then you are up for a surprise.

Columbian Sugar Lord Columbian Sugar Lord
Ride the boat while on a sugar rush

Location: Goat City Bay

Near the spawn is a pink house, inside the house is cash and sugar. Lick the sugar and you will be on drugs, run as fast as possible to the Put-in Hotel and near the hotel is a boat, hop on it.

Builder Goat Builder Goat
Find all the blocks

There is 3 blocks in the map, getting a block will grant you the ability to spawn blocks.

  1. In the graveyard behind the wind turbines.
  2. North of the skatepark is a big field that also have 3 boulders of death, the block is somehwere to the right side of the boulders.
  3. Close to the carnival beach.

GoatBuilt GoatBuilt
Get on top of the Parkour obstacle course

Location: Goat City Bay

The Parkour obstacle is close to the Skatepark. I used the double jump mutator to make it easier.

Hat Simulator Hat Simulator
Buy all hats

Location: Goat City Bay

You will need to buy every hat available from the hat shop. There is a total of 6 hats so you need 6 money packs. 2 money packs are in the pink house near the spawn, 1 is in the shop next to the hat shop, 2 in the Put-in Hotel the floor above the reception, and the last one is in carnival behind the lift to the roller coaster.

A Story about my elevator A Story about my elevator
Get up on the skyscraper without using the elevator

Location: Goat City Bay

Get to the skyscraper using the whale in the ocean, just swim in the ocean until you find the whale and use his blowhole to get blown.

Ling Ling into battle go Ling Ling into battle go
Fight the turtles

Location: Goat City Bay

In the sewers you will also find the turtles. Fight on!

One Ball One Ball
Ride a bike for 60 sec

Location: Goat City Bay

There is a bike near the pink house, you can also just ride against the wall if you are having difficulty.

Neckbeard Neckbeard
Smell and look like one

Location: Goat City Bay

You need to have the repulsive power and a fedora from the hat shop. It seems to be glitched so you need to use the repulsive mutator before starting the game or you won’t be able to get this.

Vegas, baby! Vegas, baby!
Hit The jackpot.

Location: Goat City Bay

This achievement is very misleading, you don’t actually have to hit the jackpot with the slot machines in the Put-in Hotel. To get this you need to lick a pot with the name jack on it, its in the white house close to the spawn.

I freaking love goats I freaking love goats
Find all the trophies in Goat City Bay.

The second collectible achievement. In Goat City Bay is 30 golden goat trophies that you need to collect to get this achievement.

1. In the catapult at the Dam.
2. In the Sugar House.
3. In the white house in the Residential Area with the Steamworld Goat TV, in the bedroom. The bedroom can only be accessed by the outside.
4. In the white house in the Residential Area with the garage, in the room with yellow walls on the second floor.
5. In the Graveyard, on a cross-shaped grave.
6. On the left side of the yellow buildings at the bottom of the Residential Area.
7. On the left side of the Put-In Hotel lobby.
8. In the Casino.
9. On the edge of the Skyscraper Balcony.
10. At the Concert, on the corner by the tower.
11. In the window of the Toy Store.
12. In the Alley, in the area with homeless people and fire.
13. Around the corner from Club Nubian, ride a fan up to the roof and look on a grating on top of a large machine next to a bunch of gas cannisters.
14. In front of the Dura billboard across from the Skyscraper.
15. Directly above Club Nubian, on a table on a balcony just below the roofline.
16. On a wooden walkway on the river near the Matriarch and Club Nubian.
17. Past the Vase Shop, at the end of the walkway going towards the Dam, almost under the bridge.
18. In the turtle room in the Sewer.
19. On top of the ticket booth at the entrance to Cabrito Park.
20. On top of the spinning ride when it lowers in Cabrito Park.
21. On a boat at the Cabrito Park dock behind the Ferris wheel.
22. On the roller coaster boarding platform in Cabrito Park.
23. On a rock at the edge of the water on the beach behind Cabrito Park.
24. Inside Gallery Doe, on top of a trash can.
25. On top of the water tower on the Miram Core roof. Use the mattress on the roof of Uncle Fred’s Workshop to bounce over.
26. On a lower roof in the same block as Miram Core, going towards the beach.
27. In the Goat Forest, against the fence.
28. Near the Atory City tunnel, behind a rock.
29. On top of the Parkour Obstacle Course.
30. Ride the boat by the Skyscraper to the Island.

Is that a goat? Is that a goat?
Lick the rollercoaster with 6 batteries attached

Location: Goat City Bay

There is 6 batteries that you need to plug-in into the roller coaster. After you plug them go up the lift and lick the roller coaster.

  1. Next to the roller coaster.
  2. In a red container next to the hat shop.
  3. Behind Dead Mau5 concert.
  4. Behind the counter in the casino/bar.
  5. Next to the guy with a grill in the roof of a building.
  6. Next to the water supply tank in the roof of a building.

SteamWorld Goat SteamWorld Goat
Get to a depth of 200 in SteamWorld Goat.

Location: Goat City Bay

You have to play the game SteamWorld Goat and get a depth of 200. There is a glitch that allows you to get this fairly fast with the goat queen mutator. In the right side of the spawn is couple of houses, one of them is blue and has a TV with the game. Start pressing R until your frames are low and play the game. You will go down very fast.

Valkyrie Valkyrie
Go on the catapult with a rider on your back

Location: Goat City Bay

Go to the Carnival and jump on top of the bull, a human will get on top of you. Now go to the catapult which is close to the Dam and get launched into the air.

A story about my goat A story about my goat
I’m sorry about my goat

Location: Goat City Bay

When you spawn keep moving on the left side of the road until you see a workshop called Uncle Fred Workshop. Inside is a blue crystal, lick it.

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

EXP is basically the points you make in the game, which means the easiest way to get this achievement is by doing flips in the air. What I did was using the angel, double jump, anti-gravity and tank mutators. Jump in the air and press R to float with a high speed and without any gravity. Just keep spinning in the air until you hit something, which should give you huge amount of exp (I was getting from 10k to 70k exp by doing this).

Butthurt Butthurt
Do a lot of hurt. With your butt.

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

Keep headbutting things until you get this one.

Sällskapsresan Sällskapsresan
Visit all zones on the MMO level

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator.

Here is the list of the zones:

  • Snowflake Factory (Starting zone)
  • Goldfield
  • Goatshire
  • Your House in Goatshire
  • Jousting Tournament
  • Goldfields
  • Mermaids Tail
  • Twistram
  • Alvesta
  • Glarblargle Beach
  • Bullgrurzh
  • Old Goat Mountain
  • Goatwind
Steve's Quest Steve’s Quest
Give Steve Works the apples

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

You can find Steve Works (or rather Steve Jobs) in goldfarm. He asks you to find 5 apples, which magically happens to be right next to him. Bring him the 5 apples after you gather them.

BFF BFF
Lick a friend

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

You will need to have someone who owns the game to be playing at the same time you are playing, and then find in the game and lick them. If they are an enemy it won’t count.

Jousting Goat Jousting Goat
Unlock the jousting mutator

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

Get hit by a horse. That simple.

Mermaid Goat Mermaid Goat
Unlock the mermaid mutator

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

In Goatshire tavern there is a woman called Ariel Waterhouse. She will give you a quest about finding a mermaid called Miranda, which you can find in the beach. Once you find her add her to your inventory, go back to Ariel and remove Miranda from your inventory.

Wheel Goat Wheel Goat
Unlock the wheel of time mutator

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

At the very end of Bullgrurzh there is a golden wheel. Hit it.

Old Goat Old Goat
OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

In Goatwind the king will give you a quest to find the Old Goat, who resides in Old Goat Mountain. Once you enter the castle and find him you should get the achievement.

ExcaliGoat ExcaliGoat
Unlock the ExcaliGoat mutator

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

In the middle of Alvesta you can find a sword. Lick it and keep moving away until you can pull it off.

Jörgen Jörgen
Jörgen.

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

To the north of Goatwind wall there is a man named Bjorn Hayterr, and he really hates bears. So kill 10 of them for him.

Gravity Goat Gravity Goat
Unlock the gravity goat mutator

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

At the top of the tower in Old Goat Mountain there is a big glowing orb. You can reach it by using different kind of mutators or simply jump over the lava and it will keep launching you higher and higher as long as you are using rag doll mode.

Not again... Not again…
Get deviously trapped again

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

In Twistram you can find Dumbledoor the Grey who asks you to find a demon’s horn. You can find a demon’s horn in Old Goat Mountain, just kill one of the demons and take his horn. After you return he will open a portal for you, enter it and you will be trapped with Goatson

Boat ride Boat ride
Enjoy your trip

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

in Twistram there is a dock with a boat, get on it.

Music Non Stop Music Non Stop
Jump on the launchpad

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

South to Goatshire you can find Alice lying next to a tree. There is a hole behind that tree that you have to drop down into.

Elfstreet Boys Elfstreet Boys
Baa with the choir

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

In one of Alvesta huts there is a choir, simply press 1 to baa.

Voluntary  QA Voluntary QA
Trash the server room

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

To the left of Alvesta is a hidden server room. Trash it by hitting the servers until you get an error. Video for these who can’t find it.

One man, two shots and a religion One man, two shots and a religion
Inflate that guy’s knee

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

In Goatwind there is a man named Ken Buddah who gives you a quest to inflate his knees. All you have to do is jump 5 times.

An Unnecessary Journey An Unnecessary Journey
Throw the dwarf Bilbo into the lava

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

Bilbo can be found in Bullgrurzh. Lick him or add him to your inventory and then drop him to the lava in Old Goat Mountain.

Steal the show Steal the show
Do a card trick at the magician

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

Using the Magician class and perform your card trick next to the performing magician in Goatwind.

Goatta catch 'em all! Goatta catch ’em all!
How do you catch goats?

Location: Goat City Bay

You will need to get 6 mutators that can gotten by collecting the goat trophies in Goatville and Goat City Bay. Once you have all 6 you should unlock this. If you already have the 6 mutators then you should get this by pickling any collectible.

GoatVille Collectibles

  • 5 collectibles unlocks Tall Goat
  • 10 collectibles unlocks Feather Goat
  • 20 collectibles unlocks Giant Goat
  • 30 collectibles unlocks Space Goat


Goat City Ball Collectibles

  • 10 collectibles unlocks Classy Goat
  • 20 collectibles unlocks Shopping Goat

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

In Twistram there is a campfire, stand on it.

Love or Hate? Love or Hate?
Find all the trophies on the MMO Level.

The third collectible achievement. In Goat MMO Simulator is 20 golden goat trophies that you need to collect to get this achievement.

1. Snowflake Factory, enter the hedge maze and take the Wrong Path to the end.
2. Gold Farm, upper level of the barn.
3. Goatshire, one building south of the tavern, on a table on the first floor.
4. Goatshire, follow the river south to a lake, on a rock on the far end.
5. Jousting Tournament, in the tent to the right of the large blue and white one.
6. Goatwind Wall, at the north end, in the shade of a tree.
7. Goatwind Wall, west of Jorgen, on the butt of an elf statue.
8. Gold Fields, next to the sheep catapults.
9. Twistram, on an island to the east.
10. Twistram, northernmost house, second floor.
11. Twistram Cathedral, on the altar.
12. Mermaid’s Tail, north of the island.
13. Alvesta, south side, behind some blue mushrooms.
14. Alvesta, north side, behind a tree root.
15. Alvesta, in the highest hut.
16. 15.Mermaid’s Tail, in the stone tower.
17. Glarblargle Beach, in a Mermaid hut north of Queen Blarg.
18. Glarblargle Beach, on an island west of Queen Blarg.
19. Old Goat Mountain, on the west cliff.
20. Old Goat Mountain, go through the dungeon to Old Goat’s room. Climb up on the west wall to a secret ledge leading north. The trophy is in the room at the end on the toilet

The Icelandic Experience The Icelandic Experience
It never erupts when you want it to.

Location: Goat: MMO Simulator

To get this you need to stand on the fountain near the beach. The fountain wont erupt if you are close to it, so you will either have to do it quickly using the tank charge or anything similar. Another way is to get the wheel of time and freeze time the moment it erupts.

The goa'th amendment The goa’th amendment
Craft all the weapons in one game

Same as “Survivalist”

Survivalist Survivalist
Craft all items in one game

Location: Goat: GoatZ DLC

There is 3 workshops in the game, but to get this achievement you need to craft all of items in the workshop that is next to the spawn point. Inside the workshop you can find all the recipes for crafting. Refer to this guide if you can’t find some of the crafting items.

Survive for your life Survive for your life
Survive 10 days

Location: Goat: GoatZ DLC

This can be a bit hard, you need to learn the locations of food and how to craft other things to survive. You can try them in the pre-apocalypse map to get familiar enough, and then apply it in the post-apocalypse map. If you find it too hard to can use this workshop mod that removes hunger.

Shattered dreams Shattered dreams
Crystallize and break 30 zombies in one game

Location: Goat: GoatZ DLC

To get this achievement you need to find 3 barrels and put them next to an RV hidden in the mountains. The RV can be found behind the barn, there is 2 pathways one leading to the church and the other leads to the RV. The barrels can be found in the barn, in top of the mall, and one right next to the RV. After you put all of the 3 barrels next to the RV you can go inside and lick the crystal meth, which gives you the power to crystallize zombies.


Zombie slayer Zombie slayer
Kill 20 zombies in one game

Location: Goat: GoatZ DLC

Nothing much to add here, you can find dropped crates and use the weapons in them to kill zombies easier.

Don't starve Don’t starve
Eat 50 food items in one game

Location: Goat: GoatZ DLC

By the time 10 days have passed you should have had already eaten 50 food items, if not just keep searching.

Hang tight Hang tight
Paraglide in the air for 1 minute

Location: Goat: GoatZ DLC

At the top of the slippy slide in Whiplash is the glider which you can use to paraglide. There is 2 tower buildings in this map, at the bottom of the taller tower is a trampoline, keep jumping using it until you reach the roof of the tower. Once you are at the roof you can jump down and activate your glider, you should get one minute of air time before landing.

Too much fun Too much fun
Kill 7 zombies with one minifun

Location: Goat: GoatZ DLC

You can find the Minifun in the tutorial, just kill 7 of the zombies that show up.

Goat from above Goat from above
Hit 5 zombies in one bullet dive

Location: Goat: GoatZ DLC

Start the game with the Prototype Goat mutator and hit 5 zombies at once.

Look at it go! Look at it go!
Hit 4 at once with a voodoo bomb

Location: Goat: GoatZ DLC

Start the game with the Voodoo Goat mutator, and hit 4 zombies at once. The mall tends to have a lot of grouped up zombies so its a good place to try.

I Am Goat I Am Goat
Play GoatSimSim for 5 minutes

Location: Goat: GoatZ DLC

GoatSimSim is the close to the barn that is next to the alien ship, in there you can find a small area with few goats. Once you enter the area you will be forced to move slowly and act as a goat. Just stay there for 5 minutes.

Big in japan Big in japan
Beat the whiplash course without getting wet

Location: Goat: GoatZ DLC

The Whiplash park is close to the 2 tall towers. You need to finish the entire course without touching the water, but you can retry for as long as you want, so this shouldn’t be too hard.

Masterchef Masterchef
Make the stew taste as good as HUMANLY possible

Location: Goat: GoatZ DLC

Close to the crashed UFO there is a hole with people protesting next to it. Jump down the hole and you will show up to an isolated island. Get to the top of the island and you will find a huge stew, drop a human in there.

A new challenger has appeared A new challenger has appeared
Clear 25 survival quests in one game

Location: Goat: GoatZ DLC

While playing the game there is a bunch of different quests that pop up asking you to do many different things. Just do 25 of them in the same game session. If you don’t know how to do one of the quests just wait for the timer to run out and you will get a new one.

Warm bath Warm bath
Use the slippery slide to land in the kiddie pool

Location: Goat: GoatZ DLC

Using the same glider from the previous achievement, use the slider and then activate the glider. This should allow you to easily land in the kiddie pool.

Hoarder Hoarder
Find all the trophies in GoatZ

The fourth collectible achievement. In GoatZ map is 32 golden goat trophies that you need to collect to get this achievement.

I am Bread I am Bread
Are you bread?

Location: Goatville

Go next to the BBQ party, you will find a toaster in there. Headbutt the toaster and a toast will get out of it, lick it and put it on the toaster again. Now go to the street and you will see another toast, lick it and put it on the toaster. Now jump on the toaster and you are done.

The Big Score The Big Score
Find all the trophies on the Payday Level.

What’s the count? What’s the count?
Win 3 hands at a Blackjack table.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

Go to the casino and you will see some blackjack tables to the right. Win 3 hands (does not have to be consecutive, but may have to be in a single instance of the game).

Retirement Retirement
Just finish that one LAST job.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

Rocket League Rocket League
Show off your vehicle air control skills in the desert.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

Two ways to do this: overall objective is to go through all 8 green rings starting near the finish line of the desert track.

1. The normal way is to use the buggy to go off the ramp and hitting all the rings.
2. Alternatively, use the flamingo and fly through them all.

Le Voyage Dans la Lune. Le Voyage Dans la Lune.
A Trip to the Moon.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

Either do the Buried Games prank, or fly up there with either the flamingo, or the buggy in slow-mo mode. See ‘Retirement’ regarding the Buried Games prank.

Itsamee! Itsamee!
Use a cannon to travel to the Island in the Sky.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

Located near the smaller police department on the lower half of the city (near the hot air balloon)), there is a cannon situated on the rocks pointed at this floating island. Simple land on the island using the cannon.

It’s best to aim for the tree in the middle so it stops your trajectory.

Suppress the Suppressor Suppress the Suppressor
Throw 5 police officers into prison.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

Lick 5 police offers, then drag them into the prison shown below. This the larger police department near the skyscrapers.

Plentiful masquerade Plentiful masquerade
Wear 30 masks at once.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

Perform pranks, gamble in the casino to earn cash. You’ll need at most, 750 dollars to buy 30 masks. See ‘Retirement’ achievement for a big payout. Then do a few other smaller pranks for more money.

After that, return to the Baaa Machine and purchase 30 masks. Then equip them onto your characters. (or one is easier)

The Song of my People The Song of my People
Listen to the whole pan flute song.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

Near the hot air balloon is the Harvard and Trustee Bank and in the courtyard of the bank is a music band. Pay to listen to their song and stay there until they complete the song.

Bounce it! Bounce it!
Enable the hydraulic cars.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

Go to the Aerobics Center and get the boombox inside, then take it to the restaurant. Boombox in the first screenshot. Restaurant in the second.

The Cow Whisperer The Cow Whisperer
Charm a cow using Valentino Salami.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

Using the Flamingo, head over to the cow farm near the dirt track. Lick a cow, then press [R] to mind snare/charm it.

You raise me up! You raise me up!
Use Dolph Spaghetti to lift a crewmember on top of the tallest building.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

Dolph’s wheelchair is equipped with sticky wheels allowing him to ride up walls. Lick a crewmember, then simply go up the walls of the tallest building. It’s the one with the circular top.

Fifty Shades of NPC Fifty Shades of NPC
Hogtie 50 NPCs.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

To unlock the Hogtie mutator, you will need to collect 10 goatday trophies (golden hearts) and then access the mutator through the main menu. See ‘The Big Score’.



To use the hogties, simply hit [R] and if the hogtie hits an NPC before landing on the ground, they’ll be tied up.

 Camel Cavalry Camel Cavalry
Spray the dancers using Humphrey Ciabatta.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

Head over to the casino with the Camel. Once there, build up air by licking, but do not lick too much so that you can’t control the spray. Now using the green reticle, spray the dancers on the stage.

There MUST be 6 dancers on the stage. If you do not have 6, try switching the graphical settings to high. If there is not 6, you will NOT get the achievement.

Goatipede Goatipede
Lick all crew members together to form a Goatipede.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

Simply form a line. Front of the line licks no one. 2nd in line licks the front, then 3rd in line licks the 2nd in line. then the last in line licks the 3rd in line.

Goatfellas Goatfellas
Gather the crew for some drive-in movies.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

Near the buggies and desert track start/finish line, there is a drive-in movie theater. Take all four members of the crew there in a single car.

Dastardly Dastardly
Place a Hogtied NPC on the train tracks.

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

See above to obtain Hogties. After tying up a civilian with a hogtie, take them over to any part of the train tracks and drag them onto it. Then wait for a train to pass and run them over and unlocking the achievement in the meanwhile.

Goat Theft Auto Goat Theft Auto
Headbutt someone out of their car, then run them over!

Location: Goat: Payday DLC

Find any driving car, headbutt it then enter the car and run over the driver that fell out.

Use the sword, goat Use the sword, goat
Pickup a photon sword as father or good goat.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

Obtain the father goat or the good goat at the southwest corner of the colony. Here you will find a giant circle with two pits: lava and ball. Push the human sacrifice into either pit for father or good goat respectively.

Next, obtain ANY lightsaber in the area. Many are found in the Photon Sword Shop located north from your location.

Be not afreight Be not afreight
Destroy all freighters.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

Shoot all of the yellow targets.

Ruler of the seven skies Ruler of the seven skies
Blow up all pirate ships.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

Shoot all of the red targets.

Bacon marauder Bacon marauder
Shoot down 30 police ships.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

Shoot the blue targets.

Miner inconvenience Miner inconvenience
Destroy 100 asteroids.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

Bore yourself and shoot all of the rocks.

What came first? The alien or the egg? What came first? The alien or the egg?
Headbutt all alien eggs.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

Head to the alien lair located at the north-northwest area of the colony. You will see several green glowing orbs. Destroy all of them. Roughly 30 in total.

The puke machine The puke machine
Complete centrifuge event.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

After completing the academy, there is a spinning attraction. Survive until 20G in order to earn the achievement. If you’re having trouble staying in the seats, try using the Ripped goat mutator.

Sweet collection! Sweet collection!
Find 10 trophies.
NERD! NERD!
Find all trophies in Space.

For now, I’ll throw this rather shady video and guide. I’ll update it in the coming days when I revamp it. For now, it’s just so others can complete it.



Colony
1 – In the Crowd Kicker Room after finishing the colony
2 – After you exit into the oxygen less room, take a right and you’ll find a platform with several boxes. Jump up for a hiding trophy
3 – On top of the One Capsule Hotel
4 – In the museum in the main attraction: Origin of Spaceflight
5 – Under a tube with three guards with glowsticks and green shrooms
6 – On top of the turbine
7 – Under the asteroid
8 – On top of the academy’s highest building
9 – Under the half pipe in the academy
10 – Open the hatch with something very toxic: nuclear waste (see green square)
11 – In a cave at the base level of the mattress building
12 – On a cliff just east of the crowd funding building
13 – Under the launch pad
14 – In a container at the quarry
15 – On a balcony next to Bonnie’s Bed and Beyond
16 – In the research dome on a pillar in the valley
17 – Under the bridge of the eastern exit of the research dome
18 – On top of a post of a billboard ‘Aries’
19 – On a cliff at the top of the Sanctum area with imprisoned civilians
20 – On the semicircle in the ground next to the test chamber
21 – In the museum, go to the main platform. Look left for a sewer. Go to it, turn around and you can look under the main platform with 4 arches. It’s in the 3rd one
22 – Launch Pad elevator, at the top to the left
23 – At the top of the test chamber, either complete it legitimately or fly to the top using Valentino and then TANK to get on it – if that’s too hard, simply complete the test chambers again

Alternate Area: Carrier Hub
1 – In the storage room, at the end behind the servers in a vent
2 – Above canteen door after disabling gravity
3 – At the end of the trolley pathway, the vent ends above the gravity control hub
4 – In the bathrooms of the living quarters

Alternate Area: T-xas
1 – Behind the tall silo with the US flag, look down
2 – Near the hay bales where Georg Bosch is

Alternate Area: Badehaus (Turdis) – requires you to complete the turdis achievement
1 – At the top of the diving board

Gather $1000000 Gather $1000000
I wanna be a baahlionaire.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

Upon completing the previous achievement, you will earn a mutator that spawns gold crates. Spam away.

Captain industry Captain industry
Mine 10 pieces of channitatium.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

Channitatium are blue luminous ore that you can throw inside of mine shredders to obtain money. The ores are commonly lodged into walls which can be dislodged by headbutting them. Take them to a mine shredder to “mine” them.

My little brony My little brony
Find all the pony horses.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

Testaholic Testaholic
Complete test chambers.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

Video to come. Tip: Use Inventory Mod from Goat MMO.

It's working... IT'S WORKING! It’s working… IT’S WORKING!
Run wild with the podracer.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

In the southeast area between the Testing Chambers and the Research Dome, yo uwill find a podracer (yellow). Enter the driver’s seat then move it a specific amount of distance.

Fund this! Fund this!
Headbutt Lawrence S.Windler in his lair.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

Once you’ve amassed $100,000 in crowdkicker, you’ll unlock dinner with the CEO. The dinner location is at the top left of the colony at the ?. Once there, go inside and talk to him. Pick all three options and eventually you’ll kick him and earn the mutator.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

Ready for the grill Ready for the grill
Wrap a garl’eek in tinfoil.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

After unlocking the Travel Agency, head to T-xas. Over near the garleek pen is a tinfoil machine. Simply herd a garleek into the machine to unlock the achievement.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

Spend money to make money Spend money to make money
Put a money crate in the mining shredder.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

Head to the quarry. Near the bottom is a mining shredder that will let you extract various objects (that fit) and produce money. Throw a money crate in one for the achievement.

That's Fedorable That’s Fedorable
Wear 30 things as a hat at the same time.

Location: Goat: Waste of Space DLC

After unlocking the travel agency, head over to the carrier. Enter the Crew Quarters and go down the stairs. Enter the first room on your left and there is a shelf with several fedoras. After licking 3 of them, you’ll gain the mutator that lets you wear almost anything as a hat.

Spaceship

After unlocking the launchpad and the spaceship, entering the spaceship will let you fly around in outerspace. The controls are ridiculously bad, but stay strong.
Left click lets you switch between accelerate and decelerate. Hit Q to press where your left hoof is.
Right click lets you change the direction that your spaceship is headed. Y axis is inverted, X axis is not.
Space Bar to shoot.
R to eject.